Childless

I periodically watch a show, "16 and Pregnant", on MTV. The show is interesting, but emotionally draining as I am 31 and unable to have children. At the age of 25, I was diagnosed with cervical & uterine cancer, resulting in a hysterectomy and the inability to bear children. With this experience, it is often difficult to feel like a woman and others often perceive me as worthless or unable to fulfill the ultimate purpose associated with being a woman. Almost daily, I have a patient ask me if I have children. After I share my story or simply say, " I can't have children", the patient inevitably looks so sad and I can almost see him/her thinking that I could not possibly have any other purpose in life. I mean---I have endured a heartbreaking sacrifice, but my life doesn't completely SUCK. Women can possess values and qualities other than motherhood.

My heart broke for one young girl, who was featured on the show tonight. A few months after she delivered her baby, the boyfriend broke up with her & just left her standing in the cold rain with their baby. You could just see the little girl's heart break. I wonder if the young man will ever realize the pain he created.